Bonnie J Martin

bonniejmartin

What God has given to possess

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Five years ago I was introduced to soap making. I fell in love with the scents and the science. Watching ingredients come together from solids to liquid and back to solid in just a matter of time and condition.

I didn’t master it. I piddled. The desire lingers. Time doesn’t allow. Priorities take precedence.

My mom crocheted. I taught myself by watching others. Small projects completed and an attempted big one unfinished. The creating with my hands only bringing minimal satisfaction because the perfectionist in me sees all the faults left from imperfect stitching.

I didn’t master it. I piddled. The desire lingers. Time doesn’t allow. Priorities take precedence.

Sourdough became a thing to do during days of isolation. I joined the band-wagon. Once again the science combined with creativity intrigued me. Never much of a cook, I wanted to figure it out. Holiday baking was always a favorite thing to attempt. It just never worked well for me.

I didn’t master it. I piddled. The desire lingers. Time doesn’t allow. Priorities take precedence.

Gardening brings me back to my roots. (Pun intended!) Cacti and succulents thrive in my haphazard gardening intentionality. They don’t mind long periods of being ignored. Each trip to a nursery causes my husband to remind me that he doesn’t want to take care of anymore of my plants.

I didn’t master it. I piddled. The desire lingers. Time doesn’t allow. Priorities take precedence.

In all these special projects that I begin there is one that comes with more satisfaction. One that leaves behind more meaning than a trashed loaf of bread that just didn’t turn out. Because the leaven and salt that seasons this project doesn’t get poured from a glass vessel. This one is gifted to me and not created with imperfect stitches. The stitching of this one was crafted by perfect hands, not my own.

Unraveled yarn doesn’t hold anything together. Handmade soap can’t clean the mind and heart. Unwatered plants whither and die but there is a living water that quenches eternal thirst.

All these projects become time wasters if not done for the right purpose. Most are just for me to redirect my brain for just a little while. Decompressing my work brain. An outlet for me to find a little down time. But what is the result? Tasteless bread. Empty pots of dirt. Shreds of yarn that get tossed in a bag for another day. Stinky bars of soap no one in my house wants to use.

But the one that leaves peace, it comes from spending focused time with the One that does the gifting. I don’t always readily accept His gift. Sometimes I push it away. Sometimes priorities take precedence. But what takes priority over the very gift given by Him for me to possess?

What gift have you been given? Have you accepted it? Are there distractions that keep you from possessing it? What can you do today to claim the gift given to you by God? If you don’t know your gift, ask God to show you. Ask Him to reveal the work He has for you. Then,

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

Glory

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Ephesians 1:6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.

God’s glory-grace given.

Paul repeats the phrase “to the praise of the glory” or “to the praise of His glory” three times in Ephesians 1. Then continues two more times referring to God’s glory. Five references to glory in one chapter.

Whose glory? God’s.

Kept to Himself? No.

In verse 6, grace bestowed on the writer and recipients of the letter. More specifically, in verse 2, “the saints who are at Ephesus and who are faithful in Christ Jesus.” In chapter 2, expanded to Gentiles in the flesh. Formerly aliens and strangers to the people of God, the commonwealth of Israel, the Circumcision. Uncircumcised. Adopted as saints. Accepted into the household of God.

Not because it was earned or deserved. Just the opposite. Glory-grace lavished because of His kind intention. Read it yourself in chapter 1, verse 8. Lavished. Not just tossed toward low-life scoundrels. Not just haphazardly mentioned in passing casual conversation but gifted in the most extraordinary package there ever was.

Glory-grace.

God’s glory.

Freely given according to the riches of His grace.

Redemption.

Forgiveness.

In the flesh, the body can’t obtain redemption on its own. Forgiveness is not known outside the glory-grace. The riches are not owned without the inheritance gifted by the Owner. Lavished by the Owner.

God’s glory through redemption, forgiveness of trespasses, riches bestowed on undeserving Gentiles.

Dwelling of God

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So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the corner stone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit. Ephesians 2:19-22

This passage is sitting and expanding in my mind and heart. Paul, writing to the church in Ephesus, the church living in the middle of an immoral city. The church that is young and far removed from the origins of the Savior they worship. The church that has been given grace and peace and every spiritual blessing. The church that is full of members that were aliens and strangers to the ancestral family of the Savior. The church that has an inheritance of belonging to the family of the Savior, adopted by God Himself. The church that is being built into a dwelling of God.

That right there gets me in the pit of my stomach. And the aching neck and shoulder as I type this. Inside the vessels we have been given to spend our time on earth, resides more than we know or understand. But yet I treat this vessel hard. I am not always honoring the inheritance given to me, through the blood and tears of Christ. The inheritance is invaluable. But yet I disregard what is being built in me. Some may say I even abuse this dwelling place.

Isn’t that what was happening in Ephesus? Was that the example of what not to do for those living in that city? And the immorality wasn’t the only corruption happening. It isn’t the only corruption happening in our modern times.

I sit at a desk for a living. My body is capable of moving. I make a choice to be sedentary.

My food choices are less than healthy. I make the choice to eat the food I eat.

The little black device that literally goes with me everywhere. I choose to pick it up and mindlessly scroll through countless reels and posts.

The anger that rises up in me over inconsequential circumstances depletes my joy. I allow it. My choice.

Jealousy forces me into idolatry. Or is it idolatry that forces me into jealousy? Both and neither. I choose to allow my mind to be consumed so that my heart longs for something other than God.

I sit in a pew Sunday morning. I get up and leave and have done nothing but occupy space and gained knowledge without action. How is that being an active participant in what is being built into a dwelling of God?

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12

Of all the above, it is available to me to choose my response to gifts and treatment of time and resources.

I get to choose action over allowing my body to become stiff and ache from lack of movement.

I get to choose food that will give me energy to be able to move.

I get to choose to lay the black device down. Frees up time for the good stuff.

I get to choose to be angry without allowing it to steal my joy. I will still be angry because, well, you know. But my response can be better, not bitter. I can use it to do good.

I get to enjoy what is not mine without wanting it for myself. I can be thankful for what I have and for what others have. The abundance given to me already far surpasses anything I could need.

I get to sit in that pew. I also get to be a willing participant in being the church, not just sitting in it. There is something for everyone to do and everyone gets to do something. We just have to choose.

The offer is on the table. The dwelling is being built. Will you join?

Intentional Aging

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If I had to choose one age I still see myself at it would be 40. So much happened in that year. I had to learn to live life differently that year. I had to learn to lean heavily into my Creator because He took the vessel that ushered me into this world away from me. I couldn’t lean on her anymore. That year showed me some weaknesses and some strengths about myself.

I have aged since that year. There are still days I desperately want my mama. But in those times, I remember that One who will never leave me. He is constant and steady. He never changes His mind about welcoming me. Even when I look in the mirror to see that 40 year old woman, but am surprised by a fifty something, He still wants me.

That is one conversation I would like to have with my mama. How did she internally navigate aging. I saw her to the age of 65. She changed her hair color and clothes and makeup but she didn’t let any of that define her. I think she learned in her older years to lean more on God.

There comes the realization as we age that there are some things we can’t do anything about. You cannot turn back time. There is verifiable evidence all over me! It is a well-proven fact.

So after a dozen years of knowing the importance of intentionality I am still learning the art. I have laid down the practice too many times so it becomes hard to pick it back up. But it is always there waiting on me to notice it. It wants me to prioritize the practice but I struggle. Even when I know the benefits are too numerous to count.

For this moment I will be intentional. I can’t promise you in the next five minutes that I will still be but I am now. And I know One that has always been and will forever be intentional. I will rest in that.

Convenient Excuses

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Has God placed something on your heart that pulls and tugs at you constantly?  Even with your best attempts to ignore it, it is there.  Every scroll of the feed, a reminder pops up.  Every other reel rattles that thing in your heart.  I believe God will use anything to get our attention. 

But I don’t have time.

But I don’t have the right tools.

But my space isn’t adequate.

But the people I surround myself with won’t approve.

But I am too old to do that anymore.

But no one needs that from me.

The long list of excuses could go on and on.  But God remains steadfast and sure that there is work to be done. 

He equips at just the right time.

He provides all the tools that are needed.

He is the Creator of space.

Just maybe those people surrounding you are the ones to be the recipients of your gift.

Kingdom work has no retirement age.

Even if one comes to know the Savior, the work is bountiful.

Let me encourage you in your Kingdom work.  Live the life God has given you out loud and upfront for Him.  Pursue His mission for your life.

God’s Perfect Gifts

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You need to know something. It isn’t anything about me. It isn’t anything about you. It isn’t about your neighbor or friend or family member. It is about your Savior.

Some may not believe in the Savior of the world. Some may reject Him without even knowing Him. Some may dismiss Him as unimportant. Some may ignore the tug they feel toward Him.

All need Him. No one is exempt from the desperate need of the mercy and grace that only He can give. The thing you need to know is that His love for you cannot be replaced or duplicated. His love has only One source. Just Him.

In His love you find peace.

In His love you find contentment.

In His love you find rest.

He delights in giving you good and perfect gifts.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17

His gifts look like…

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Teaching, Fellowship, Breaking Bread, Prayer

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“They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.”
‭‭Acts‬ ‭2‬:‭42‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/100/act.2.42.NASB1995

Before my memories were holding fast in my brain, my parents, as a young couple beginning a life-long journey of following Christ, hosted Bible studies in their home. My dad had been ordained as a pastor. I don’t remember that time but I do remember the residual effects of the fellowship.

It has been ingrained in my introverted self for decades. A great desire to gather with others to study God’s Word, sharing that fellowship of knowing Christ and learning and partaking in His provisions and talking with Him, instilled in my mind and heart.

It has been buried for a while now. Sitting below the surface of my to do list. Sitting below the pride and hurt I carry around. Sitting below all the excuses I place above it. The list is long.

Have you ever showed up with good intentions and while there, you weren’t really there? Maybe you listened and took everything in and didn’t really count yourself as present in the moment. Maybe you wanted to hide and not be seen because that is your default for everything. Quietly sitting and listening and not participating and leaving more empty than when you came.

Share with me? Tell me about your fellowship with other believers.

God’s thoughts don’t wander

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“What is man that You magnify him, And that You are concerned about him, That You examine him every morning And try him every moment? Will You never turn Your gaze away from me, Nor let me alone until I swallow my spittle?”
‭‭Job‬ ‭7‬:‭17‬-‭19‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/100/job.7.17-19.NASB1995

God’s attention is always on His children. It never stops. He never gets distracted. His concern never goes away.

My attention, on the other hand, is easily interrupted. Even as I click keys, the slightest distraction grabs my thoughts away from the matter in front of me. I wonder if Paul had the same problem?

God’s attention and concern are kind and patient. He knows my limitations. He knows my mind wanders. He knows the weight of the world is too great for me to bear. He knows I carry that weight too tightly. He knows I am a control freak. He knows I try to rush around in a busy, anxious mess, created by my own hands.

He stands back watching, waiting for me to see Him. Ever-attentive God, always there. Always wanting me. Always concerned for all of me, even my anxious, wandering thoughts. He wants even those.

To discipline myself to the point of giving my focus to the only One that is constantly concerned for my soul, is a life-long practice that has to be re-learned continuously. It is like pushing through thick thorny vines. Those thick thorny vines just rip and pull more when I struggle in them. Taking time to slow down, and even be still, relieves the pulling and ripping. He is right there. Waiting to release the burden keeping me from Him.

Sunday Morning

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Sunday morning. Mind, heart, body prepares for the clock to hit its mark. Think backwards to know what needs to be done when in order to be in the pew on time. You already know if it is your habit to attend a worship service. You already know what time you need to be up and showered and dressed and in the car and in the parking lot and when the music will usher in a time of worship. You know if you live it every week for years and years.

Your heart starts longing for that time. Not to be seen or to see but to know. To know that others have come for the same purpose, to worship God. To gather together for the common purpose of recognizing God Almighty. To know God more through the teaching and preaching of His word.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10:23-25‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

Centered

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For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.  Ephesians 3:14-19

My equilibrium has not been centered lately. Even as I type these words, the positioning of my keyboard is messing with me. I have shifted positions several times just trying to find the comfort spot to let my fingers move over the keys in the familiar way from how I was taught by Mrs. Wakefield in tenth grade. I think I have found it now. It is all about being centered and posture.

For me, symmetry and order keep me balanced. I know not everyone has this same characteristic. Those around me may get frustrated by my constant straightening. I don’t make a very good decorator because where I want things to be equal and balanced, artistic eyes would say otherwise.

But it isn’t just in the physical realm where I find balance important. My early morning hours open my day to what I can expect. Over the last several weeks, those precious hours have opened my days to work. It has consumed my time from waking until I finally close it up late evening, ready to sleep, only to rise again to the same thing. Leaving me exhausted and terribly off-balance.

This morning I was reminded of the firm foundation that brings everything plumb. He is the center of everything. I was reminded that nothing I face has not already be measured and weighed and exacted by Him. His line is pulled taut. It is straight and precise. He cares about the details. No matter how insignificant details may seem, He sees them and knows them and takes great care over them.

So instead of numbers and organizing accounts this morning, I sit in the center of Him. I rest in the fullness of Him. I find comfort in knowing His love surpasses my knowledge. I am thankful to find grounding in Him.