Bonnie J Martin

bonniejmartin

Fear undone

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She came out of the trees at a slow trot seemingly to greet me but my fear kicked in. She crossed the ditch and came toward me with a low growl. My fear remembered the unpredictability of the unknown. 

Will this be the place I quit?

From the front porch she hears her master call so she retreats. I am still left scared. Do I go back home after only making half of my goal?  
What was it that happened to Daniel?  I just read it. Just considered the fear and trembling Daniel felt at the presence of “… a certain man clothed in linen, whose waist was girded with gold of Uphaz!”
(Daniel 10:5 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/dan.10.5.nkjv)
So should I fall on my face, trembling?  Will I allow this creature stop me?  Will I allow fear to stop me?  She is not nearly as intimidating as this “man clothed in linen.”  But I am not Daniel either. But haven’t I experienced the protection he knew when in that den of lions?  
So I remember further. 
“Therefore I was left alone when I saw this great vision, and no strength remained in me; for my vigor was turned to frailty in me, and I retained no strength.”
Daniel 10:8 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/dan.10.8.nkjv
But perhaps it is not my strength I should count on. My strength is frail. My muscles turn to jelly. My heart wants to seize and choke the life out of me. All I see are big teeth wanting to taste that jelly. 
“And he said, “O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes, be strong!” So when he spoke to me I was strengthened, and said, “Let my lord speak, for you have strengthened me.””
Daniel 10:19 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/dan.10.19.nkjv
He strengthens me. And I remember…
“who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.”
I Peter 1:5 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/1pe.1.5.nkjv
His power. Not mine. His salvation. Faith that makes me know His protection. 
So I continue….
“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,”
Hebrews 12:1 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/heb.12.1.nkjv

No mourning

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How can I mourn for her?  The finality which appears before my eyes is based upon what I can see.  What experience do I have that causes me to think any tears I shed are for her?  I can’t claim experience of where she enters.  I have faith that place deserves no mourning. 

No!  I will not mourn for her. 
Even though my heart skips a beat and a lump forms in my throat constricting my airway, I will not mourn for her. The tears I shed may be for me or others she leaves behind. Perhaps for the world around me because she made it a better place. This world has been different because of her.  Without her a gaping hole will remain that no other person can fill. It is just her size. 
Her testimony to loving her family. Her witness in doing for her church family. Her life lived for Christ. 
And isn’t that what we are each called to?
I can’t mourn for her. 
She had a glorious expectation of seeing her Savior. An excitement beyond comprehension for the anticipation of rest. Not just any rest but the rest offered by her Creator. 
To mourn for her would be doubting the promise of that rest. My mourning is for me. My mourning is for others. My mourning is for this world. 
I want to celebrate for her. I want to shout hallelujah and sing praises to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords for the eternal rest and peace she enters into by escaping the hold of this temporary world. 
Yes!  I. Will. Celebrate. For. Her. 
And I will remember her smile. I will remember how she accepted teasing with grace. And returned it with fun. I will remember her attention to the preservation of memories. History should be remembered.  I will remember the care she gave to people and the resources given to house a congregation. I will remember her commitment to community. I will remember her sincerity. 
She rests now leaving a legacy of faith and commitment to God. 
We who remain should learn from a life well lived. Ours is not a place of ease and luxury. Ours is a place of working until that day we enter that eternal place of rest. 
So remember the example she was. Remember her tenacity. Remember her longevity. Remember the work of her hands. Remember her commitment to Christ. Remember her commitment to community. Remember her commitment to family. Remember her when you just don’t know what to do next. Look for it and do it unto the Lord. 

War Room or Battlefield?

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Heads slowly raised and she spoke the words we all had experienced.  The words were not spoken with irreverence but exultation from that which she experienced.  “I felt the Holy Spirit.”

Drawing into the place of worship where no outside influence can penetrate.

Because God is Holy.

Sacredness in a small country building that congregates His church.

Women bowing heads and holding hands postured so that He can do what only He can.

Laying aside chaos for peace.

Replacing turmoil with comfort.

Recognizing in that very moment our position of sitting at the feet of the One to be adored.

Because He first loved us and showed us what love is.

Because He is love.

Warrior princesses baring hearts.  He stirred us.  Because we desired it.

Because He desired it.

Justice for my injustice

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He said it out loud. Unexpected but anticipated. The words matched the situation but how could he know. He spoke reality without even knowing the situation. To have it recorded would do it much better justice. 

The explanation of pulling away instead of coming together. The desire of running and hiding with hopes of the darkness covering transgressions and iniquities. Feeling like the darkness can keep it under wraps with no fear of being found out. Darkness keeping exposure prevented. Without exposure is there no evidence?  
Even the darkness holds clues. Perhaps an untrained witness couldn’t detect the evidence staring straight in the eye but to look at the microscopic level of attitude and analyze the deeper behavior may present those close to the situation to have suspicions.  But how deep will they look?  
Will they investigate until the verdict is made and sentencing rendered?  Is there even one that will ensure justice?  Justice for the guilty or innocent, no matter the verdict?  Do the prosecutors have the credentials to deliver a guilty verdict?  Can any witness speak with any certainty as to the crime and be held harmless?  Who among the spectators can be found innocent of equal charges?  
The red dripping, pouring, leaking down rough splintered wood runs stark pure over the mortal wounds of a guilty soul. The only One that didn’t have the opportunity for justice because He took my injustices on Himself. 
I threw it on Him. 
I smeared it on Him without thought of what it meant for Him. 
He stands in the light. Beckons through the darkness the verdict. 
Proclaims mercy. 
Offers grace. 
Gives hope. 
Loves unconditionally. 

Evidence

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It appeared in her face. I caught just the right angle and the glimpse became a full-blown panorama. It was one of those moments you just can’t miss. The enduring endearment of revelation displayed so genuinely. Sincerity in the purest form. The lighting was perfect to catch the depth of the subject. 

What was it she said?  Or does it really matter what the words were?  Words are inadequate to display this revelation. 
She spoke of her childhood in Kansas. She spoke of the relentless wind capturing the trees into bent forms. You can’t see the wind but you know it has been there because of the evidence left behind. 
Evidence. 
I took a picture just three days before. I didn’t see this coming. 

“And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you received the word in much affliction, with the joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia.”
1 Thessalonians 1:6-7 ESV
http://bible.com/59/1th.1.6-7.esv
The Presence and Power of the Word of God and the Holy Spirit leaves evidence of having been there.  Like the wind she remembered from her days in Kansas, those eyes and that face hold the evidence of God in her. 

And then MA asks what is the evidence you have on display?
Silence. In a room of 14. Silence. 
Is the evidence missing or do we not recognize it in ourselves?
Only so much self-examination is needed. Looking too hard becomes painful. But there is that suffering element presented but not self-inflicted. Suffering from being an imitator of the gospel doesn’t qualify if self-inflicted. 
You can’t compare an upright tree to a bent one and say they received the same exposure to the elements. 
There is a difference. 
Can you recognize evidence of the Holy Spirit’s Presence when you come across it?  Is there a lack of awareness of the Presence in the display?

Wedding Day

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He offered her a glance and she glanced back. Little did he know what that glance would turn into. 

There were dates and church functions. Dances and weddings. Graduations and funerals. Family meals and holidays galore!  Mission trips and beach trips. College degrees. First jobs in the chosen profession. 
And now today. 
He will glance again. And this time he will see his bride walking with her daddy.  He will take her hand and her heart.  The two will be joined and nothing can separate the love that Christ brings. This new covenant they enter into comes second only to the covenant of the blood of Christ. 
They both know Him. He is the one that brought them together. 
Today is my daughter’s wedding day. 

Counting

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Forty-four for me. 49 for him. The girl has had 22 so far. One boy has had almost 18 and the other 9. The union that started this has counted nearly 25. 

Looking back they had 47. He has had almost 72 now. She had 65. She didn’t see 66. She didn’t see 67. Or 68. Or 69. And we won’t get to throw a party for 70 next year. 
Four years. 
She was mine for 40 years. 
She pushed me into this world in more ways than one. 
She birthed 5. 
She had 4 siblings. 
She had two parents. 
She had 11 biological grands and one biological great grand. 
Countless friends. 
Four years. 
Four years ago her body gave up. 
Four years ago she left numbers behind. 
Four years ago she left people behind. 
Four years ago she left family behind. 
Four years ago she left me behind. 
And I keep counting. Not knowing how many I will get to count. 
So I must make the counting count. 

Girl time

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I know she is loved. She left the house this morning in anticipation of enjoying the love of good friends. In two short months she will be leaving the house to go to her own house. The house she will share with the one God has chosen for her. 

But for today she goes to teach a room full of third graders in desperate need of her love. She has certain ones that she struggles with and they are the very ones that need her the most. Her thoughts this morning were focused on getting through those struggles one more day to go enjoy some girl time. 
The ones she chose to stand by her side as she vows the pledge of life-time commitment to that one God chose for her will celebrate her this weekend. They will love on her and each other. Setting aside the demands of their lives for a few short days to celebrate friendship. Nothing more than to love on her. 
So there she goes. She changed my life twenty-two years ago and now it is changing again. I send a little piece of me with her.  Enjoy!

Unadulterated Worship

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The desire to fellowship with God can be overwhelming. In the moment of pure devotion all obstacles to worship become great annoyances. Your heart yearns to explosion for Almighty God. Nothing else can satisfy and any intrusions are unwelcome and demand to be snuffed out. All things become trivial in the Light of Him. He is exalted and is magnificent. The cares of the world become so insignificant.  Pure worship. Nothing else matters. Nothing else but Him. Praise to God. Honor and glory are His. He places life in dry bones. He breathes life where death had been. His resuscitation is eternal.  Know that He holds the power of life and death. Be still and worship Him. Bask in His Presence. He delights in you. He sings over you. His love endures forever. 

Go see "War Room"

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One week from today, the movie “War Room” will open. 


Check out the trailer here:  http://warroomthemovie.com

The ladies at my church have talked about the armor of God for a while now. We will be wrapping up our study of Ephesians next Wednesday evening. 

Toward the end of chapter 6, Paul says in verses 18 & 19:  “18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints–19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel,”

Paul urged the readers of his letter to pray always. He had prayed for them.  He asked them to pray for other believers. He asked them to pray for him. He knew the necessity of prayer in the life of believers. He knew the fellowship that was created with God through bowing and bending at the feet of our Creator God and he knew the intercession of the Holy Spirit. He knew prayer to be a critical piece of armor for believers when battling the enemy. He said in verse 12 of the same chapter:  “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

What better defense and offense can we take when wrestling and doing battle than to stand firm in prayer guarded and protected by the One who has already conquered the evil one and his forces?

Paul knew those readers of old needed to hear this message. God knew that you and I would be living at this very moment in time and, like all who came before us, would need prayer in our lives. He knew we would need this letter from Paul to remind us that our power is not ours but comes from God; His power manifested in the lives of faithful followers walking worthy of His call. 
Do you have a powerful prayer you can share?  Or can you give testimony of prayer at work?

Share if you will!