Humility vs Arrogance

I make mistakes. Who wants to admit to that? It seems I make many. Not always intentional. Some from lack of self-control or disobedience. Some from ignorance. Some just blatantly ridiculous, I am left wondering how that just happened.

I discovered one this week that had been hidden in plain sight. My mind immediately wanted to blame someone else. I even searched through to find where someone else may have made the error. Surely it wasn’t me. And even if it wasn’t me, how would I let others that needed the correct version of the work know about the mistake. 

First things first, the error had to be corrected. That in itself was a chore! It took time to go back and research some events from years ago. Once done, it made a significant change. The inner wrestle of when and how to share the correction.

I felt nauseous. My head hurt. I wanted so badly to run and hide. I didn’t want to admit this mistake. I felt stupid. Embarrassed. Unworthy of having a position of trust.

Then an oversight is brought to my attention. Just kick me when I am low. The work had been done but the follow-up fell short. Again, the wrestle with how to address. 

Shaking my hurting head at this point.

Just do it.

Just right the wrong and move on.

My wrongs accumulate in my mind, even when corrected, and become reminders of my imperfection. I wear them as badges of defeat, not honor. I hold on to them tightly. They are mounded high and wide around me. Me in the center, desperately trying to tunnel my way out.

You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. 1 Peter 5:5 NASB

Proud me didn’t want to admit anything wrong. But holding on to the wrong hurt more that admitting the mistake. Will others forgive it and move on or hold on to it and let it influence the perception of me? Not mine to decide if I have righted the wrong.

Thankful that some mistakes can be corrected. Thankful that even if other people won’t forgive, God will. Thankful for the grace He gives to me. Thankful He allows me to find that tunnel out from under all my wrongs and brings me to the foot of the cross. Thankful for the relief from the burden of mistakes through confession and correction and placing my feet on the rock.